Revan hummed softly and continued to run her fingers through her son’s hair soothingly. It was something she’d done since he was a very young child and she doubted that she’d ever stop doing it. And she wasn’t much inclinded to when he snuggled into her.
“I’ve missed you too, my sweet baby boy.” she told him. “And perhaps one day, but unfortunately I can’t. Not right now. You need to understand that there are consequences for what you did. However, I won’t abandon you here. I will visit when I can and do what I can to ensure that you are treated well.”
“Please, don’t leave me here.” His voice cracked lightly, “I want to just go home, I have to go home, and the longer I stay here.” The longer it feels real.
His eyes closed as tightly as possible as he let out a deep breath, “I would rather be in cell back home then here. I want to be in my room, my own bed, and comfortable.”
However, he knew that it more than likely wouldn’t ever come; that he would be stuck here for longer than originally thought and each day he was breaking down more, and more.
“Just… promise me I won’t have to stay here forever.” There was a pause, “There are rumors of someone who has been here the longest… just over ten years.” He gulped, “Don’t let me die in here.”
“We did it for your own good, Kader.” she replied, annoyance stirring in her. However, this was her son, and she had come here for a reason. “If you wanted to show us what you could do, you chose a terrible way of doing so. Of course we were going to react negatively—-you tried to kill us.”
Revan paused a moment before she sighed and stepped closer, reaching out to take hold of him and tug him into her embrace. Gently she reached to run her fingers through his hair. “I am sorry for what we had to do, truly I am. Never doubt that I love you and that if there had been a way this could have ended with you still with us at home, I would have taken it.” But there hadn’t been, and she’d been angry enough that convincing her to allow this hadn’t been all that hard.
His eyes closed tightly, he wanted to be back home, but he knew that wouldn’t come anytime soon. In fact, it wouldn’t ever come if anyone had a say in it as he moved to snuggle into her.
Truth be told, her embrace was warm, and gentle. Something he missed far more than not, but at least he was trying to control himself, and not say anything that could come off as brash, “There always is a way. I missed you… I missed being free, but I did what I thought was right. Since I have been in here… I have been losing myself; I am not like the other’s here. I can change… just let me feel the Force again.”
It had been six months since Revan and Valkorion had bound their son’s ability to feel the Force and sent him to the planet of Asylum. She had felt…mixed feelings in regards to the whole situation, even despite the fact that he had attempted to kill both herself and his father. To see him again, however, after those six months…well, she still hadn’t gotten over those mixed feelings.
“Kader.” Revan said with a sigh. “Is that anyway to greet you mother? I should certainly hope I rank far enough up on your Importance list that you would wake up.”
She paused then, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. “And what do you mean by ‘waking up early’? It’s past midday.”
“Do you think I care?” He managed to get out with a light hiss, “You sent me away so I wouldn’t be a bother — all I ever wanted was to make both of you see what I could do.”
There was a pause as Kader rubbed at his temples, “You threw me away like I was nothing. You once told me you would never hurt me, but truthfully? You never wanted a Son. You just wanted someone who would stay out of the way.”
He was going to say more, but instead he just gripped his head tightly, “I reach out every night… nothing is there. It’s gone…”
Six months, Six long months he had been here; at first he thought it was a joke, but deep down he knew that he just wanted to be out of this place.
Kader thought that he was going to rule forever, but then it was cut short as everything happened so quickly. Idiotic mistakes, but mistakes none the less as a deep sigh escaped his lips.
He was told that someone was there to see him, but it wouldn’t give him back what he wanted most of all; he wanted his connection to the Force back, “This better be important.” He groaned out, “For waking me up this early.”
A low whimper escaped his lips as he moved to cling to Revan, the young boy didn’t want to go to bed as he shook his head even though he didn’t really want to sleep.
“I wanna stay up!” He managed to get out lowly.
Revan hummed softly, pausing in her walking to press a kiss to the top his head.
Resuming her walk towards his quarters, she began to lovingly pet his hair. “There’s a good boy, Kader.”
Kader let out a deep sigh as he snuggled into her hand, he was a good boy, and he had to keep being a good boy no matter what.
Revan wasn’t intimidated by her son in the least and only started laughing. When she had recovered enough that she could probably speak again, her tone was heavy with acid. “Oh, my sweet little boy, you are very wrong about that. But you will learn, I’m sure, once we have new bodies. And I assure you we will get them, with our without your help.“
“Wrong? The Empire is mine, the thrown is mine, and I have knights under my command.” It was partly true, he had those loyal to him, but not too many as he let out a deep hiss, “When you come back, I will still be here, and I will not allow you to take away my birthright.”
“You must try.” she insisted, eyes narrowing at her son. She knew him, and she had a feeling he wouldn’t actually make an effort to even try to remove the First Order from the Eternal
Empire. “And if you can’t do that than assist in helping your father and I regain physical bodies and we will deal the First Order.”
Kader knew himself as well, he wouldn’t remove them, and he would stay on the throne as long as possible — he wanted this all his life, but he also wanted things to be back to normal.
A deep breathe escaped him as he gave a nod, “I will try, but the Eternal Empire is still…” His tone turned slightly more angry as he snapped right at her, “MINE!”
A low whimper escaped his lips as he moved to cling to Revan, the young boy didn’t want to go to bed as he shook his head even though he didn’t really want to sleep.
“I wanna stay up!” He managed to get out lowly.
Her eyebrow rose at her son. “You don’t want to learn how to control the Force?” she asked, clearly displeased by even just the thought of it. “Well, if that is the case, I will request that you are no longer consider Heir to the Empire.” Revan was serious too. She wasn’t about to a non-Force-user sit on the Eternal Throne. There was a reason she and Valkorion were so loved by their people, and part of it was because she had to strength and power to back up their claims.
“No!” He managed to get out as he ended up clinging to her even tighter, “I mean, there is no one else, and I mean…” He tried to find the words as he ended up just letting out a deep sigh, “I will do my lessons.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m sure I can.” Revan replied, reaching to take hold of her son and tug him so that she could tuck him against her side. Beginning to pet his hair as she had done since he was little she continued, “Both myself and your father are very good at simply got giving a fuck about what other people think.”
She tried not to laugh, really she did, but she just couldn’t help it. “Free? You wanted to be free? Oh, sweetheart, I understand that feeling better than you probably think but none of us are free, not even your father and I.”
Revan had to choose her words carefully now. “If it had been up to me, I would have allowed you to explore the galaxy as you like, but unfortunately you just don’t have the luxury.”
“If it had been up to anyone else, I wouldn’t have left, but it’s not — you know exactly why I left.” Kader then snorted, “You have more freedom then I have — if you haven’t noticed? He seems to vanish for years at a time before crawling back to you like some insect.”
A low growl erupted from his throat, “I am not like him nor am I willing to be trapped in this damned Empire any longer than I need to — I want out… you know this.”
“Obviously, I don’t seem to care.” A snort escaped his lips, “What I chose to do is not something you should consider, but rather I am doing what I want to do. if you don’t like it? Well, we might have a problem.”
“He saw the Order for what it was—-it’s just the Empire again, and he….of course he can’t stand it.” Revan muttered. “Of course he—-” she cut herself off before she could go down that train of thought and sighed. “If you can’t lessen it, than…than it seems like we’ll just keep going as we are and no one will be happy.”
“Of course he… what?” He asked with more of a growl than anything else, “Ran away from it? I know the stories, he was a traitor to the Empire just as he was to the Order, and to the Jedi.”
Kader took a step forward, “He hasn’t changed at all… it’s a wonder he hasn’t ran away from you after all these years.”
She didn’t know what to say in response and simply sighed softly, continuing to pet her son’s hair. She would never admit it, but she understood the feelings Kader was having at this time. It was painfully similar to how she had felt among the Jedi who had refused to come with her to fight against the Mandalorians. True, she’d never had to worry about living up to the expectations of her parents and the subjects of an Empire, but she’d been a Jedi.
Kader bit his lower lip for a moment before he let out a deep sigh — he shouldn’t have even thought about saying anything, but instead of pushing the subject he just lowered his head, and went completely silent.
“Oh, trust me, I’m sure I can.” Revan replied, reaching to take hold of her son and tug him so that she could tuck him against her side. Beginning to pet his hair as she had done since he was little she continued, “Both myself and your father are very good at simply got giving a fuck about what other people think.”
“Get as bad as you want, we won’t let you go—-especially if you’re just going to return to the First Order and the Knight of Ren. Your father and I have both voiced our displeasure and distaste and since you won’t listen we are forced to take drastic measures.”
Revan sighed. “And I’m sure if they had known you were the heir to the Eternal Throne they would have used you from the beginning.” Of course, she thought that was what had happened anyway, but that was besides the point.
“Does it matter? I joined them to forget about everything — Mostly, it was to forget about who I was really, but that…. that is besides the point.”
His eyes locked onto Revan’s own for only a moment before he closed them tightly again, “Maybe if I didn’t leave things wouldn’t have been like this. I could have been great — I could have stayed inside the borders and not known about the Galaxy at large.”
A frown tugged at the corners of Revan’s mouth. “And why, exactly, would you want to forget who you are? As you can see trying to avoid it only created a situation that is probably worse than if you had just been content with your lot in life.”
“You could have been safe.” she replied. “You could have known about the galaxy at large but not wanted to experience it for yourself. Or if you did than allowed yourself to do so by our rules.”
“Why wouldn’t I? I wanted to be out in the Galaxy — I just needed to be free.” He shook his head for a moment, “It seems I can’t be either way… maybe if things were different? Maybe.”
Kader than sighed, “I never wanted to be safe — I wanted to forget to know there was more to the Galaxy than the Empire.”
“Obviously, I don’t seem to care.” A snort escaped his lips, “What I chose to do is not something you should consider, but rather I am doing what I want to do. if you don’t like it? Well, we might have a problem.”
She visibly shuddered at the mere mention of possibility of her husband having his head removed. “Don’t be so hard on your father, he’s only trying to do what he thinks is best.” Still for himself for the most part, but at least I’ve managed something.
Revan could easily see just how alike the Empire and the First Order was and she didn’t like the similarities between them at all. “Forgive me, but even if it’s only you who finds him, I fear for what you will do….” she sighed. “But I suppose I’ll have to tell you now—-ask me again when you have lessened his punishment and I promise I will take you to see your father.”
“What he thinks is best? He’s running away from the Order — if I knew that he wouldn’t be killed I would. I would bring him back in a heartbeat, but they want his head on a pike for leaving.”
He bit his lower lip, “Fine, you know what? I will try to lessen it, but what if I can’t?”
A low whimper escaped his lips as he moved to cling to Revan, the young boy didn’t want to go to bed as he shook his head even though he didn’t really want to sleep.
“I wanna stay up!” He managed to get out lowly.
Revan sighed softly, reaching to begin petting his hair softly in an effort to calm him as much as she could as she began to make her way towards his private quarters. “Perhaps I’d be willing to indulge you some other night, but not this one. You’ve got to get up early tomorrow—-your lessons begin early and you don’t want to be sleepy for that, now do you?”
He kept clinging to her as she walked, he didn’t want to go to bed, and he wasn’t even tired.
“I don’t wanna go to them —- I just wanna relax. Why do I even need to go to my lessons?”
